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How to “get through” Mother’s Day

I miscarried in late winter, so this Mother’s Day is going to be even harder than before. Once I received that double lined test, I added “First Mother’s Day” to my dreams about to realized. But then it ended. And “first mother’s day” became “first mother’s day without you”. How do I get through Mother’s Day?

Thanks for your help,

Dear A,

The good news is that it’s only a day. You can get through one day. You’ve done it before. You’ve gotten through days when your period started and it shouldn’t have. You’ve gotten through days of doctors giving you bad news. You’ve gotten through countless baby showers and public baby announcements. You’ve gotten through the worst, hearing that you’ve lost your baby. You can do this. As Glennon says, you can do hard things.

You have a few choices of how to spend that day. If you just want to “get through it”, here are some ideas:
* Binge watch Netflix and eat cookie dough and drink wine and before you know it, the day you’ve dreaded is over.
* Take a day trip somewhere new.
* Skip church if that’s easier.
* Buy yourself something special to commemorate the day (flowers or a new pair of shoes).
* Deep clean your whole house and go through those boxes you’ve forgotten about in the basement.
* Avoid Facebook all the day long.
* Pamper yourself with a pedicure.

Or…you can use this day as a step toward healing:

* Allow yourself to feel weak and weary and messy. You can stay in bed until you don’t want to anymore.
* Share your feelings with your husband, and make sure he realizes how important this date is going to be to you.
* Read back through The Carry Camp, realizing you’re not alone in this.
* Ask your friends to pray for you throughout the day, lifting you when you’re too weary to lift yourself.
* Journal
* Send encouragement to the other women you know who are also waiting.
* Go for a long walk, listen to music that feels healing, take a nap, take a bath, call your mom, read a book.
* Plant a tree or flowers at your home, memorializing your baby.
* Allow yourself sadness and grief.

But, most importantly, celebrate yourself and the fact that you ARE a mother. Even though you aren’t holding your baby in your arms, you held your baby in your womb, and you are a mama. Recognize that on Sunday.

You aren’t alone as Psalm 136: 23 tells us: It is he who remembered us in our low estate, for his steadfast love endures forever;  and  as 2 Corinthians 7: 6 promises, God comforts the downcast.

You’ve got this, sister.

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